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Friday: This is just too heartbreaking. Director John Hughes died yesterday morning at the age of 59 after suffering a heart attack. As someone who watches this whenever I need a pick-me-up, you better believe I’m having a veritable HughesFest this weekend.  

It’s hard to cheer up after news like that, but this lil’ nugget did manage to put a smile on my face and glee (albeit confused glee) into my heart. Bob Dylan. Recording a Christmas album. Can ya dig it? Finally, I know the answer to that elusive question, “What would Jesus do?” Jesus would make Bob Dylan sing about Christmas, disregarding the whole “Jewish” thing for the duration of the album. 

Saturday: So, Lollapalooza started yesterday. Since I’m no “recessionista” (or whatever the eff they’re calling people who just used to be considered “poor”), I am sitting at home, reading blog after blog about the event, and snickering that Chicago weather chose this weekend to stop being so deliciously mild.  

While I snicker, though, Paula Abdul is considering participating in Dancing With the Stars. You know, to reclaim her dignity as a choreographer. Here’s hoping for some overmedicated shakes mixed in with her tango.  

Sunday: G.I. Joe is incredibly entertaining. There. I said it. It’s action-packed and has a plot that’s far too convoluted for its own good, so it’s a pretty decent way to spend two hours. And hey, the rest of America thought so too—it made $56.2 million this weekend. 

Monday: A couple of months ago, Thom Yorke cryptically hinted that Radiohead was in the studio prepping for another album. Don’t hold your breath, fans. As Yorke said to The Believer magazine, “None of us want to go into the creative hoo-ha of a long play record again. Not straight off.” Sigh. And here I thought Yorke and Co. LOVED things like creative hoo-ha.  

Tuesday: You know the same five seconds of new rehearsal footage that every news station plays when they make a Michael Jackson reference? That whole “slow march choreography/rock out in front of a guitarist” series of rehearsals will soon be coming to a theater near you! This Is It will open on October 28.  

Tom Waits plays the devil in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus? Yet another reason to get excited about Heath Ledger’s final film role.    

Andrew WK releases a solo piano album? So many questionable news bits today. 55 Cadillac comes out September 8.  

Wednesday: As far as Scandanavian singers go, popster Annie is tops. So, this news is rather exciting—her greatly anticipated sophomore release Don’t Stop is finally seeing the light of day. She posted a tracklist about a year ago, then switched labels, then changed up the album, so it’s been difficult to predict when it would finally be released. November 17, everyone.   

Thursday: I call on a famous tune by The Andrea True Connection whenever someone asks me “Alyssa…your Reuters. How do you like it?” My answer? “More, more, more!” Let the headlines commence! 

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  1. “Vampires turn gentler with eye toward teen girls”: This tops last week’s “director turns eye toward virgins” headline, but only by a hair. Why? Because of this quote in the article from actress Elena Gilbert (star of The CW series The Vampire Diaries). She offered this when asked to describe the allure of vampires for teen girls: “There is something about a man who lurks in the dark.” Hmm…I was always taught to assume that men who lurked in the dark wanted to kill me, and that I should go for the jugular whenever they revealed themselves. Kids these days!

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  1. “Coroner completes Jackson autopsy, film deal set”: Really? Even the coroner is getting famous off this? Nope, just another case of Reuters jam-packing every article with more information than its headline can handle. Though, if they can make a movie out of the rehearsal footage, methinks a documentary about what seems like the longest autopsy ever can’t be far behind.

Look, you get legit news today too! Two things: the seventh Weezer album will hit stores on October 27. I’m not sure whether to be excited or frightened. Oh, and those crazy fan-focused Fiery Furnaces shows? They just got even more interesting—Matt Friedberger proclaimed that each show will double as a rally of support for Obama’s healthcare initiative, and encouraged other bands to do the same on their MySpace page.