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Friday: Confession time. I love me some Twilight. I love it like a diabetic loves sugar, or a crack addict loves…well, crack. Now, I’m entirely aware of the fact that Stephanie Meyer CANNOT WRITE. She overuses italics almost as much as I overuse capital letters. But, I bought all of the books last summer, and read them nonstop the moment I arrived home. Given my shitty taste in movies, it was only a matter of time before I saw the atrocity that was Twilight: The Movie. Hated how much I loved how awful it was. If you followed that sentence, kudos.  

I can’t deny that fact that Meyer’s got some decent musical tastes, though. She listens to Muse while she writes, and included them as well as Radiohead on the soundtrack. Maybe Thom Yorke loves bad vampire concepts as much as I do—rumor has it that Radiohead is “very interested” in providing music for New Moon, the second installment of the series. This could be the best case of “fantastic music/awful movie” that we’ve seen in awhile, kids.  

Saturday: As a journalism nerd, this truly saddens me. Former CBS newsman Walter Cronkite passed away last night at the age of 92. After hearing this, my mom relayed an interesting anecdote to me. She was rather young when President Kennedy was assassinated, so while she knew something bad had happened, she said that she only understood the magnitude of it after seeing Walter Cronkite announce it. He always maintained an admirable stoicism on air, but he removed his glasses, and held his head in his hands for a brief moment. That’s when she knew that it was a truly awful event.  

And now, some oddly appropriate words from none other than George Clooney: “I hate the world without Walter Cronkite.” Rest in peace.  

Sunday: Oh, ‘Arry Potter! Too bad your movie kind of sucked. And too bad I’m 22 years old, but still found myself in a theatre at midnight on Tuesday, eagerly anticipating it. Whatever, I wasn’t the only one—it made $396.7 million. How is that even possible? Wait, who am I kidding? I saw a parent-child wizard duel happen two rows in front of me before the movie started. Anything is possible. 

Monday: Everyone, this is some seriously awful news. It seems like the Beastie Boys were set to take over the world—again—with their reissues, upcoming album, and massive touring schedule. Apparently, Adam Yauch (MCA’s) health had other plans for the boys. He has cancer of the salivary gland, and must undergo treatment immediately. Good news? They’ve caught it early enough, and it hasn’t spread. Bad news? All of the tour dates have been cancelled (including their highly anticipated performance at Lollapalooza), and the album release date has been postponed. Take all the time you need MCA, because you and your sweet rhymes will be in our thoughts until you’re better. 

Check it out: Chris Brown has finally issued a public apology (if you can call it that). I love how pissed he sounds when he mentions how many times he’s apologized to Rihanna. As if he’s like “Damn, bitch, I said I was sorry! Just forgive me so that kids will buy my albums again!” Sorry, Chris Breezy, you’re still the lifetime winner of the “You Sir, Are a Bag of Dicks” award. Apologies won’t do much to help you now.  

Tuesday: When news of the Lolla line-up broke, I was decidedly shocked by the lack of Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Everything was in place for them to show…and by everything, I mean that they had just come out with a new album. Good enough! I thought “well, they did just perform there two years ago. Perhaps it’s too soon?” Then I was all “wait, that wasn’t a problem for TV on the Radio or Cold War Kids! EXPLAIN, PERRY.”  

Alas, he didn’t explain, but I’ve got to give the boy credit—he managed to take a shitty situation and make it golden. Kind of like that excellent Atmosphere album title. Even though no one can really live up to what the Beastie Boys performance would have been, it’s really freaking exciting to think about the antics that Karen O. and Co. will cook up when given an hour and a half and a huge-ass stage. A more than decent replacement act, I say. 

Wednesday: How has Jay-Z never been a headliner at an American festival? This puzzles me. Anyway, since the Beastie Boys had to pull out of their appearance at All Points West, Jay-Z has stepped up to take their place. I must say, as much as I love the Beastie Boys, their replacement acts have been damn impressive thus far. 

Thursday: It’s crazy Reuters news day! I’m just gonna throw some snippets at you, because there’s too much awesome on the site to go into much detail here: 

1. Amy Winehouse is in court for “deliberately punching” a woman. OK, not all that surprising/awesome, except for two things: the fact that the courts had to specify that it was a deliberate punch. Not just a “my fist flung out at you because cocaine has made me lose bodily control” punch, but a DELIBERATE swing. Oh, and the vicitm’s name: Sherene Flash. Fuck, if I sound like a mix of a country singer/stripper/superhero, ain’t no bitch gonna deliberately punch me. Step up, Flash.

1. If you’re looking for a new cartoon to watch, check out J-Stache. The star? John Oates’ mustache, voiced by Dave Attell. It’s about time facial hair took center stage in the animation world. Check out funnyordie.com for the debut.

1. “Actor Kiefer Sutherland Dodges Headbutt Charge.” I don’t even want to write about this. I just want to look at that play on words for days.