The Week That Was
Chris Martin keeps lying to us, Usher keeps trying to pork us, and Nick Jr. keeps trying to rock our faces off.
Friday: I don’t believe anything Coldplay says anymore. Seriously, they always pretend like they’re going on some epic, decade-long hiatus, only to come back every couple of years with a new album. This year won’t be any different. They’ve got loads of material left over from their “Eno sessions,” and will release an EP in December called Prospects March. According to Chris Martin, they also plan to release their fifth studio album by November 2009—to “end the decade.” After that, they SWEAR they’re going to go away for a long time. I’m guessing they’ll keep quiet until 2011, tops, and then come back to do an “end of the world” tour in time for 2012.
Saturday: As usual, Usher continues to be the classiest man in music. He’s decided that since he has such a personal relationship with his girlie fans—honestly, he’s had sex with at least 500—that he’ll plan a “ladies only” tour at 15 intimate venues across the U.S. What’s he calling it? The “One-Night Stand” tour. Apparently, the “Fuck and Run” tour moniker was taken by Bret Michaels.
Sunday: I’ve got some good and bad news for Nicholas Cage. Good news: you finally have a #1 movie that doesn’t involve historical treasure hunts! Bad news: it only made $7.8 million. That’s right, Bangkok Dangerous (one of the most awkward movie titles I’ve heard in awhile), managed to take the top spot of the worst box office weekend that the film industry has had in quite a long time. Here’s hoping that National Treasure 4: The Search for Jon Voight’s Dignity garners a few more million than Bangkok Dangerous.
Monday: Yes! I love starting the week off right with fun lawsuit news. It’s not exactly clear who’s suing Steven Spielberg, but some clever person finally realized that Disturbia, that movie with Shia LaBeouf, is a complete and total rip-off of Rear Window, the Alfred Hitchcock classic. The idea actually came from a story by Cornell Woolrich, but Hitchcock was smart and got the motion picture rights to it—Spielberg did no such thing. Note to Steve: if you’re going to steal a movie idea, at least try to take some legal precautions, like asking for the rights to it.
Tuesday: If you haven’t kept up on your children’s television shows, you’ve really been missing out. First, you had Feist performing on Sesame Street (awesome!), and now you’ve got Yo Gabba Gabba, a cool show on Nick Jr. with stellar musical guests. The new season premieres on Sept. 22 and will feature the likes of MGMT, Mates of State, The Ting Tings, and Ladytron. Oh, and Biz Markie has a segment called “Biz’s Beat of the Day.” Yeah, I might not be five, but there’s no way I’m missing this.
Who won the Nationwide Mercury Prize this year? Elbow’s The Seldom Seen Kid. Hmm…considering it was up against British Sea Power and Radiohead, I have a bit of a bone to pick with the UK judges, but who knows. Maybe I’m missing some hidden genius behind the album.
Wednesday: Kanye West might be coming out with a new album, though nothing’s been confirmed by his publicist. Possible release date: December 16. Possible title: 808s and Heartbreak. News source: The websites of Target and Amazon. So, if you trust online retail giants, pre-order some Kanye for Christmas!
Thursday: If you haven’t kept up with the endless Internet rumors about Batman’s next villain, shame on you. My favorite so far? Johnny Depp as the Riddler. Ahh! My little fangirl heart that’s forever devoted to Depp’s “quirky” archetypes can barely contain its joy.
Posted by Alyssa Vincent, Alyssa Vincent on Sep 12, 2008 @ 12:00 am
