Business Casual Superstar
Hey thanks, Kelly Kapoor, for being the hottest thing on "The Office" (...other than Dwight, of course).
I need a break, so I handed today's blog post to Kelly Rajnigandha Kapoor, from NBC's The Office.
Oh, my God, you guys! I'm filling in for Huma today because she's got, like, all this law school stuff to do. I don't really know. All I know is that, next time, when I'm at the Aldo at the Steamtown Mall and I find a pair of black leather knee-high boots that are totally like the ones that Shakira wore to the SNL after-party and I pick them up and put them down but then remember that I totally have enough in my checking account to get them and go to pick them back up, and some skank with ratty extensions grabs them just as I touch them, I'm getting Huma to sue that bitch.
Yeah.
I mean, she'll be out of law school by then, and she'll probably be licensed unless she totally fails the Bar, or unless she's, like, tossed out and they tell her that she can't be a lawyer anymore. And that's not going to happen. I mean, I know she takes lots of pills and then just starts yelling people and scaring babies, but she probably won't be disbarred.
:)
:-|
She'll probably be disbarred.
:-
Oh, well, I'll figure something out.
This is my first time posting on a blog, and I don't mean to be braggy, but I totally rock at this. I can talk about anything, and I only talk about interesting things, anyway, so that's, like, a sure-fire means of success right there. You guys should totally write in and ask Ryan and Wes to keep me around for more than just one post.
There was this one time that Ryan (my Ryan, not your Heave Ryan) let me write on his blog. And by that I mean I guessed his password right after eighty-three attempts and wrote a swear-filled post on his MySpace to all the girls that keep sending him pictures of themselves standing in front of mirrors wearing just their bras and panties. Have some self-respect; I'm the only one that's allowed to do that.
There's my guy. I love you, baby! Ryan Bailey Howard is soooo awesome, you guys. Wait. I mean...awful. He's pretty awful. But sometimes awesome!
:)
So today we're talking about clothes, which I know everything about. Huma wanted me to put together something I'd totally wear to Dunder Mifflin on an ordinary work day, so that's what I'm doing.
Although, you know, I don't even know why I bother to get all dressed up and fabulous every day for work. No one else notices.
And no one else even makes an effort. I mean, um, have you seen Pam? She wears, like, gross blazers and ugly wrap sweaters.
The outfit I'm talking about was absolutely hideous, you guys. Pam should have known better. And the only reason I even remember is because that day she and Phyllis wore the same thing. The same thing.
See?!
I mean, I love the people I work with, and they're all totally my best friends, but if I ever dressed all ugly and blah like them, I'd have to kill myself.
The only one with any style is Erin, and that's because she's tall and pretty like a china doll, and she just hops around and looks all cute and adorable all the time. And I'm not just saying that because she's my Subtle Sexuality bandmate. (Seriously, you guys, ch-ch-check us out.)
Okay, so, clothes.
When I get dressed for work, I put a ton of effort into it. I get up two hours before I leave and I pick out my outfit and I do my hair and I put on my makeup, and thenI have to change outfits at least 2 or 3 times because you should never leave the house in the first thing you try on, everyone knows that.
I love things with colors. Lots of bright colors. Bright colors are totally fun and they cheer everyone up, you guys. And work is so boring and awful, it's good to try to cheer people up. And I think that if I wasn't always way back in the annex and people got to see more of my cute outfits, they'd feel a lot better. Like, Jim wouldn't be so crabby and Angela wouldn't be so uptight and Stanley wouldn't have had his heart attack if only they got to see my cute outfits.
Okay, Stanley probably still would have had his heart attack.
:(
But anyway, when I set about becoming Kelly Fierce every morning, I pick something colorful. I always start with my shirt, you guys. It's the most important part of your outfit, because it's what you use to make your cleavage decision.
There are only two important decisions for girls when we get dressed: Clutch and Cleavage. I usually go with my black satchel, because it goes with everything, and sometimes I'll match my favorite pink satchel with my clothes if I'm wearing pink or purple, but usually it's black. So I've got my Clutch decision made, so only Cleavage is left. I pick out my top making sure to show a little bit of something-something, but not everything. Not everything, you guys, I promise. Especially after that one time that I wore this red blouse that was cut all the way past my girls, and Toby had to take me aside and gave me this boring speech about covering, which I assume was about cover letters, which confused me because, hello, I'm Customer Service, not Hiring, that's totally his job. But it was totally worth it because that was the day Ryan asked me out on our first real date, because he always said that the almost-Valentine's Day date didn't count. He said that a lot, really. I think, like, up to seven times a day. I wonder why he felt the need to repeat it so many times
... Anyway, I pick out my top and make sure it's bright and fun and colorful to really cheer everyone (and me!) up. And then I pick a sweater that matches, but sometimes, I pick a sweater that doesn't totally match all the way, but it's close enough. You don't always have to be so matchy-matchy, you guys. And then, because it's work and it's boring, I grab one of my twelve black pencil skirts and black flats. Like I'm wearing heels all day, puh-lease. Besides, everyone knows that I keep three pairs of heels stashed in my car just in case Ryan or some hot guy from the warehouse or something wants to go out for drinks after work, or if Ryan or some other hot guy has planned, like, a surprise hot date for us. I haven't really had a chance to use any of those three pairs of shoes, and it's been, like, five years, but whatever, it 's cool. I'm sure Ryan's planning something. :) So that's usually how I go about becoming Kelly Fierce. Here's the outfit I'm totally wearing tomorrow:
Pinstripe Pencil Skirt .......... $17.80 Goddess Blouse in Aegean Multi .......... $24.99 Chaps Cable Knit Cardigan in Vermont Green .......... $19.99 Chaps Reece Flats in Black ........... $24.97 Bandana Hoop Earrings in Green .......... $10.99
I love this pinstripe skirt. It's classy and sexy, but not, like, omg please stuff dollar bills in my bra sexy. It's office-sexy. Secretary-sexy. Doris Day sexy. Doris Day is under-rated, you guys.
Anyway, I found this top and it's all pretty and blue and green and white, and I look really good in those colors, you guys. I look good in most colors, really. I kinda-sorta matched it with this green sweater, because the office gets really chilly because Andy Bernard is a douche that likes to keep the temperature at sixty-five degrees, and it's like, what are we, Santa's elves?
And, of course, my flats. My adorable flats. I have flats in every different color, several pairs, actually. You can never go wrong with flats.
So that's what I wear to work every day. I try to keep things colorful above deck, and keep everything basic and boring below, with my black skirts and black shoes. That goes out the window if I wear a dress, though, because I like colorful dresses. :)
If I had my way, though, I'd come to work every day dressed like J. to the Ello.
But Toby put the kibosh on Casual Fridays, probably because he can't let me be great.
>:(
Well, that's my post! I have to go now, but Huma wanted me to tell you guys that she's doing this '5 Ways to Dress 10lbs Slimmer' thing on her blog, so check it out, too. Also, she said she'll be back next week with an outfit inspired by Robin Scherbatsky from "How I Met Your Mother."
If I was on that show, it would be called "How I Met This Totally Hot Indian Chick And She Was Almost Your Mom But I Put My Career Ahead of Her and She Don't Play That."
Seriously.
Call me, CBS! I have storyboards! STORYBOARDS!
Okay, bye. :)
Posted by Huma Rashid, Huma Rashid on Apr 08, 2010 @ 12:00 am
