The Week That Was
Well we can all celebrate: one of the Jonas brothers finally gets to take his pants off in front of a girl.
Friday: The world (that’s honestly not an exaggeration) is still in shock over the King of Pop’s death. Commentary and tributes continue to pour in—whether it’s Colin Meloy twittering over a deli working sobbing as he ordered a sandwich, or the Filipino prisoners doing their dance once again, you can’t go anywhere on the interwebs without finding something regarding Michael Jackson’s legacy. Since all I do is scour those webs, I’ve got to post this set of tributes. Because really, you haven’t seen “Thriller” until you’ve seen a rendition involving Legos.
Saturday: I’m not trying to be blasé about this, but I’m feeling a little bad for Farrah Fawcett these days. She publicly battled cancer in a television special, and people can hardly give her death the time of day! Perhaps I should be more upset about the sudden lack of coverage regarding the Iran election — and I am — but it appears that for the moment, we’re going to have celebrity deaths conquering the news. So, let’s at least try to maintain equality, shall we? Rest in peace, Farrah.
Sunday: Even though it’s pretty much the Titanic of robot movies in length, apparently has more plot holes than a David Lynch film, and stars the increasingly creepy Shia LeBeouf, Optimus Prime and Co. still managed to rob the box office blind over the course of the past couple of days. It’s made $201.2 million since its release on Wednesday. Just wait for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, bitches. Robots are no match for Alan Rickman.
Monday: October is one of my favorite months. Trees are calendar-style gorgeous, Chicago weather isn’t impossible to endure just yet, and I can legitimately watch Hocus Pocus on the daily. That being said, it’s like the Pixies read my mind when they scheduled a celebratory Doo/little tour for that very month. But then they got confused, and scheduled it in Europe. Damn these crossed wires! Since that epic album is turning 20 this year, they’ve decided to take it overseas and tour Ireland, Scotland, England, and the like. I will need YouTube clips of that tour the moment after it happens.
Tuesday: In the vein of damning things, damn the recession and its effect on journalism! Vibe Magazine, one of the most comprehensive print outlets for hip-hop and R&B over the past 16 years, closed its doors today. Here’s hoping they can start back up once people get on their feet.
Guess who’s not feeling the recession? KANYE MOTHERFUCKIN’ WEST. Just check out his new stage for proof (thank heaven for Kanye’s blog). Even for him, this seems a bit excessive. How much fake gold did his staff have to mine to construct that monstrosity? And when I say “monstrosity,” understand that I mean “thing of beauty.” It’s incredibly fitting for the union of The GaGa and Mista West, no?
They may not have a gold stage, but they’ve got more energy than anyone in the world, and a sweet-ass opening act. Matt & Kim are touring North America, kids. Things kick off tomorrow and go until October 2. Find ‘em everywhere from Portland, to Chicago, to Montreal, to LA. And on several extra special dates, they’ll be joined by the raunchiest lady rapper around, Amanda Blank.
Wednesday: Lookin’ to get yerself to a Akron/Family show? They just announced their dates yesterday, and they’re regular nation-trotters—check them out anywhere from Cleveland to Denver to Ithaca, and everywhere in between. It kicks off July 22 and runs until September 20.
Thursday: Personally, I’m a HUGE fan of promise/purity rings. I find nothing more refreshing than a gold or silver reminder of “OH MY GOD, I gotta get married soon so that I can have sex.” Keeps the mind focused on what really matters. Anywho, it looks like everyone’s least favorite Jonas brother gets to pry his off— 21-year-old Kevin Jonas asked his longtime girlfriend Danielle Deleasa to marry him. Happy fuckin’, kids!
Posted by Alyssa Vincent, Alyssa Vincent on Jul 03, 2009 @ 12:00 am
