Heave Media

Reliving the New Kids on the Block

Drew Danburry takes another listen to New Kids on the Block, and tells everyone they are actually pretty good.

The first time I heard the original self-titled release of New Kids On The Block was actually only a few years ago. I was driving my little red car I so lovingly demolished after years of adventure and mayhem. It pains me to admit the purchase was at a thrift store - for fear of being clumped into the category of so many Southern California cute hipster girls who parade around on expensive recreations of bikes from the past, while heading straight to the clothes section of a thrift store, giggling at the keen awareness that they are on a wild adventure; doing something their parents would never condone. Especially if they come across the frugal types who are shopping there because they really don't have much money; because people who shop at thrift stores out of necessity are kind of gross. But it was indeed bought in a thrift store, and I won't say where because I keep my shopping spots to myself. Furthermore, anyone with any observance of demographics and the social style that pertain to such demographics would know where to find a good thrift store - whether throughout the country or in your general region of living. We can talk through email if you?d like to discuss this further.

On this shopping occasion, I came across the original self-titled New Kids On The Block album on cassette, and though it seems unimportant to give all this back-story, it actually is important. This was a cassette, and it had two sides, and for some reason, the tape was wound to start on the second side. And subsequently, I fell in love with the second half of the album before I ever listened to the first half. I just kept listening to the second half and rewinding it to the beginning. I was completely floored at how absolutely amazing the (second half of the)album was. My excitement faded when I got to the first half of the album, because all of the good stuff is in the second half. Don't get me wrong, the first half is still quite stellar, but the second half is mind-blowing.

Regardless of how amazing their outfits are, or how cute their feathered hair is, you're going to have to get past their sweet innocent looks to get down to the dirt and grit that make up the New Kids On The Block. These guys aren't just a bunch of youthful puppets, pawns to a larger corporate animal. It doesn't matter that Maurice Starr composed and played nearly everything on this record, and appears throughout the credits of the album almost overpoweringly. These guys are serious. For example, the opening track to the second half of the album entitled "New Kids On The Block" (I'm assuming this song must be their creed or anthem) isn't some fun candy pop song about girls. It's nitty-gritty down to the ground rap song featuring "Dexter P," and he isn't messing around. He actually states, (I'm pretty sure this is Donnie, by the way) "Now you know we're a gang and you know we don't play, we're the New Kids On The Block and we're here to stay!" This isn't a statement of anything other than absolute alpha male power and dominance. The New Kids On The Block may have came off as charismatic charmers, maybe even as dandies, but let me tell you - they were just as much power hungry, rough and tough street savvy rakes. You have to remember, these "kids" grew up on the streets of Boston, and they can put on fancy clothes and doll themselves up all they want. They can sing songs "for the children" and fill their repertoire with love ballads, but they aren't fooling me, I know they're a gang, and that they don't play. They told me so.

The song following "New Kids On The Block" is probably my favorite. I can't help but adore skits within songs, especially about "home girls" in miniskirts with sexy poses, and little Joey Joe McIntyre singing "I might be young, but I'm no beginner!" Mind you, this was when Joey still had braces and was probably around the age of 14, so keep in mind that this is direct evidence that New Kids On The Block were not only a "gang" but that they had plenty of experience with the ladies, most likely on the streets of Boston where they roamed and ravaged looking for trouble. Joey's outburst of his vast experience with women at the tender age of 14 before the New Kids had even hit their fame yet is shocking to some, and how it was overlooked by the masses and their mothers bewilders me. I suppose despite Joey's forthright coming out of his open sexuality with women (or other girls his age) perhaps wasn't what people wanted to believe, despite the evidence otherwise. Either way, this song ends with a direct call to cities all over the nation and poses the question based from the song title itself, "Are You Down?" I can't say whether or not it was their intent to invite the world to come to their shows or whether they had ulterior motives aside from that. But I think above and beyond being a gang, the Kids were probably into some things that I don't really want to delve deeper into. We all know the kind of things that go on with rock stars on tour going from town to town, meeting "girls" and spending time "getting to know them" and I think I'll just let you figure it out yourself.

Or maybe we can let the following song explain it, because essentially the New Kids entitled it, "I Wanna Be Loved By You." This probably has to be the most divulging song on the record. The Kids really don't hold anything back here. We find out all about each of the Kids as they describe themselves and their desire to be loved by "you." I suppose anyone listening to this record would feel safe assuming the New Kids are singing directly to them. So on top of being in a "gang" and very experienced (sexually) at an early age, they obviously have no qualms with whom they are loved by. We might as well keep them in the same category as Ol' Dirty Bastard when he said, "I don't have no trouble with you f**king me but I have a little problem with you not f**king me." The New Kids don't hide behind any curtains here. I mean right off the bat we find out that Danny is a Taurus and he wants to be loved by you. Then Jon tells us he's a Sagittarius and that he really really wants to be loved by only you, and then Joey admits to being young, and a Capricorn, but that he also wants to be loved by you. Donnie, the lovable Leo, sings his desire to be loved by you, and to take you by the hand and make you understand. How thug can you get? He might as well tell us he wants to force his love upon us?violently. Which is totally thug! Then Jordan jumps on the bandwagon and expresses his love as well...but if all the New Kids want to be loved by me, the listener of the song, what does that mean? It sounds a bit freakish and I'd be a little bit intimidated by Donnie "making me understand," but what I'm saying is, how in the world did the world not realize how badass the New Kids On The Block are?

The next hit is a fist-pumper and a hip-shaker as the New Kids get even wilder. This song is crazy! It's so good! The song makes me want to do karate and tae-bo and aerobics and kick-box someone in the face like all at once! It makes me want to be a cheerleader at a rivals football game, or maybe just be a girl at a New Kid?s show so I can have more of an excuse to scream my head off and jump up and down! Some key lyrics in this song are: "When you call my name I go insane. It took a whole lot of loving, kissing and a hugging, ooh you keep me burning!"

They have an amazing change of key towards the end of the song that totally catches the listener off guard when they repeat the chorus again, but in a different key! We know not to "give up on" the New Kids, so let me take a moment here to sincerely explain. Though some people may not be taking my writing seriously, and I'll admit I have a tendency to make extreme comparisons or blow things out of proportion, but seriously, this album is good. Well, at least these four songs on the second half of this album.

In all honesty, the song "Treat Me Right" is pretty weak. But it's when Joey says, "Come on, girl!" like fifty jillion times in this song when we realize how similar he sounds to Michael Jackson back when he was in the Jackson Five and we just have to love a young Jackson! This song is like listening to Wham and the Jackson Five at the same time, which if you haven't done (especially if you haven't heard this song), then you probably should. Like, it's nothing to blow your brains out over. But it is pretty mind-blowing.

Like I said earlier, the rest of the album (I mean, the beginning) is pretty average. Basically, I wanted to write about this album in particular because it's the best New Kids album ever and I don't even care what people say about Hanging Tough, this album is better. I tend to feel like the New Kids sold out from their tougher street image in later albums for the money, which I mean, its okay. Stomps for the New Kids coming from the streets of Boston and rising up to be stars, just like Jay-Z and Kanye and Hulk Hogan and so many other people, they really had to work hard to make it. Who knows if they would have even made it if it weren?t for their stroke of luck in meeting Maurice Starr? I bet he found them freestyle rapping on the streets of Boston (just like Snoop), and with his superhero producer's eye somehow saw through their ragged clothes and rough and tough image to know that he could make them into the clean cut boy wonders they became. Not to mention in later press photographs their rat-tails were like totally freaking amazing.

Some really good songs to be mentioned in the beginning half of this album are, "Didn't I (Blow Your Mind)" which originally is by the Delfonics, so I guess we really shouldn't even mention that song since the New Kids kind of do it pretty unoriginally and the song really isn't that good anyways. But there is a really amazing moment of dialogue towards the end of the song that really makes my day. It's kind of inspiring. It?s like the New Kids knew how far they came from the streets of Boston to a cassette tape that entered into my car and changed my world. It's kind of hard to believe that they're really real. If it weren't for the press photographs where they look like a superior form of human being, I'd swear they were magic beings that could transform themselves into the angels that deliver revelations of perfected pop music to my ears. And they do it so good.

Posted by Drew Danburry on Jan 06, 2008 @ 12:00 am