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Dear internet, why must you give the unemployed masses hope?

On Monday The Chive released a story about Jenny, an aspiring broker who quit her tedious job through a series of pictures that she sent the staff of her office.  As an unemployed woman who recently quit her job in a not so grand fashion (i.e. I stormed out and gave my two weeks in a very sassy manner), this Jenny gave me hope.  I wish I could have quit like her!  No one wants to be unemployed, no money no drive, sitting on your couch watching meaningless television and not showering.  Which is what I’m doing now.  But when you quit like Jenny did it makes all this worth it.  Jenny sent her coworkers a series of 33 photos, explaining why her boss Spencer was a prick.  From calling her a HPOA (hot piece of ass) to spending the majority of his week playing Farmville, this Spencer character seemed like a shit boss.  Jenny’s way of quitting her job was justified.  Jenny was my hero.

But on Wednesday my hero was killed.  Well not killed, revealed as a hoax.  The Chive published a story that Jenny was really an actress who was hired to play a joke on the Chive readers.  All I have to say to Jenny is – how dare you.  Way to make my internet-based existence that much sadder.  However there was one brave person who really did quit in style this week. 

Steven Slater, a flight attendant for JetBlue, was doing his job when a particularly irate passenger pushed his buttons to the brink.  The said passenger wanted to remove her bag before the plane came to a complete stop.  Steven, just doing his job, politely told the woman that she couldn’t.  The woman kept trying to take her bag out which then proceeded to hit Steven in the head and cutting his forehead.*  Steven then proceeded to grab the intercom and go on a four-letter word tirade to all the passengers and staff.  According to one passenger, this is what Steven said:

"I've had it! To the passenger who called me a mother******, **** you! I've been in this business for 28 years and that's it. I'm done.  You don't want to see a flight attendant lose their cool like that. I'm glad it happened on the ground and not anywhere in the air.”

Then Steven grabbed some beers and his luggage, popped the emergency slide lever on the plane, and slid to freedom.  How badass is this?!  Of course since this happened in an airport and we’re living in a post 9/11 society, Steven was arrested a hour after leaving the premises.  We’ve all had shitty days like this.  Your coworkers are pushing you, every problem possible seems to happen, and to top it all off you have a customer come up to you and treat you like a piece of shit.  Those are the days you either go to the bathroom to cry or absolutely flip out.  Mr. Slater chose the latter, but because he was in an airport got arrested.  Lame sauce.  The best part of this story?  JetBlue is somewhat defending Steven.  He was arrested on reckless endangerment and criminal mischief, but JetBlue is saying “At no time was the security or safety of our customers or crewmembers at risk.”  Even JetBlue knows that woman was a dick. 

Lost auction to be held August 21, nerds rejoice

The hit television show and HEAVEmedia favorite “Lost” ended their series this year.  Say what you will about how the series ended, fans still have to admit how incredibly awesome this series was.  It’s a story line and construction that will probably never be repeated in American television.  ABC is auctioning off pieces of the Lost series August 21 and 22 in the Barker Hanger of the Santa Monica Airport.  Which is somewhat fitting since, you know, “Lost” has a lot to do with airplanes in the air or otherwise.  Bidders can auction in person, online, or as an absentee.  Some items include:

Hurley’s Camaro, Charlie’s “DS” ring, a DHARMA van, Sawyer’s reading glasses, the Man in Black’s dagger, a polar bear collar with the DHARMA Hydra station insignia, Desmond’s fail safe key, Eko’s staff with Bible verses, Daniel Faraday’s journal with his notes on time travel, Sawyer’s note to his parent’s killer, Kate’s toy plane from season one, Sayid’s pictures of Nadia, Hurley’s winning lottery ticket, and sections of Oceanic Flight 815’s wreckage.

Oh.  My.  God.  I need all of this.  Can you imagine how awesome it would be if you had some of Flight 815’s seats just chilling in your apartment?  You would be the coolest person ever.  EVER.  You can view pictures of some of the items on the official auction site.  In addition to nabbing some key props from the show, attendees get a sneak peak of bonus features from the season six DVDs, including a segment called “The New Man in Charge” which offers some insight as to what happened after the last episode.  Holy hell.  Why don’t I have a million dollars to blow?  If you do have a million dollars to blow, you can RSVP to the auction here. 

* Please give this woman “douche of the year”